A First...

So...it dawned on me the other day that I am no longer 100+ pounds over my recommended weight for my age and height!  I appreciate these sorts of victories...even if I'm still 99 pounds over!

I haven't really been following too much of a program lately, but still am managing to lose a little weight.  I keep thinking of the great successes I could be having if I really gave it my all...and then I go for the serving of ice cream because it's been a long day!  I'm very much a time table sort of person...I'll start next week...next month will be different...I'll start again on Sunday...  Well tomorrow starts October!  My goal is to shape things up a bit.  I would LOVE to be at my goal weight by this summer. I can do this...I know I can!

Life has been busy...and good!  I'm a fan of how things are going right now...and it's been a LONG time since I've been able to say that!  I'm a part of some good small groups through church...am participating in a body image life group...and have volunteered to become a mentor for some college girls.  I am in SUCH a different place than I was a year ago...even six months ago!

I know...quite a bit of rambling...but I'm tired!  Perhaps a better update will come along one of these days!

Thankful. Grateful. Blessed.

Life is good.  I'm noticing in different ways each day that I'm not who I used to be.  That's awesome.  There are still many struggles, a binge here and a binge there, but I'm doing it!

Some things I'm thankful for today:

1.  Family being close.  My sister is moving tomorrow and will only be 2 miles away.

2.  The ability to love.  There are a lot of kiddos that I encounter each day that just need someone to love them.  I'm glad I can be that person.  

3.  A wonderful work family.  We might bicker at times, but what family doesn't?

4.  A house to clean (even though I REALLY don't want to clean it).

5.  The ability to give gifts and encourage others.  I'm super excited about something I started at work today.  I'll probably share later...I was so excited about it last night that I couldn't sleep!

Story Time

So...here's My Story.   I know it's super long...but just listening to it has been healing for me.  Sorry about the tracking...I guess that's what happens when your video gets to be 16+ minutes long!

Survivor

I've survived the first 1.5 weeks of school!  It's been challenging...but good at the same time.  I love knowing that I am helping change lives everyday.  It's nice to see the little progress ALREADY in the kiddos that have come to school with so many obstacles in their lives.

Weight loss has been good for me.  I've lost the pounds that I gained after intermittent binge eating and a pulled hamstring.  My leg is SO much better, but I'm still not 100%.  I have some subtle numbness in my foot so I'm hesitant to start running...and even stairs are a little challenging.

People at work have been very complimentary of my progress.  This time it's helping!  I'm wearing "new" clothes everyday from my closet and feeling great about it.  I did stop by Goodwill the other night.  While looking for something else, I decided to swing by an look at the pants.  I found two nice pairs of dress pants that I just couldn't pass up for $8 total.  They don't fit right at the moment...but I'm sure in a few weeks they will be just fine.  Hopefully in a few more weeks they won't fit at all!  I'm turning into a dreamer...and I'm liking it...especially when those dreams come true!  At least now I won't be pant-less when the fall weather rolls in!

Back to School

It's been a while since I've posted...partly because I've been in a funk...and partly because I've been super busy.  I am also injured.  My sister brought over her treadmill to keep here while they are in the process of moving.  I have never used a treadmill.  I did my same running exercises that I do around town on the treadmill and that was a mistake!  I'm pretty sure I've pulled my hamstring...and that is NOT a good feeling!  I know I've used it as an excuse...but it seriously hurts!

Tomorrow starts the new school year...my sixth year of teaching!  It's hard to believe that I've been at it that long already!  Time has surely flown.  Part of me is wishing that tomorrow wasn't happening yet.  One of my biggest regrets is that I did not meet my summer weight loss goal.  I wanted to be skinnier.  I wanted to be wearing completely different sizes...but I'm not.

There have been some victories though.  I started to go through my closet to see what exactly I have to wear in the upcoming weeks.  Though my sizes haven't changed dramatically, I do have some clothes that won't be returning this school year because they are too big.  As I've said before, I'm a bargain shopper.  Therefore, I have several shirts that I bought on clearance that never fit.  They were my "goal shirts."  Many of them fit now!  And then there are some that were super tight that are getting closer to being wearable!  Yay!

Lovely picture...I know!  This was one of my favorite shirts!  It's silky and now almost too big in places and I haven't even worn it yet!

This is another silky one.  It fits just right!

This one fits fairly well.  It's practically see through in spots...so I would like to to be a tad looser through the tummy area so I can comfortably wear a shirt underneath.  This has also been one of my favorites that I've just been dying to wear!

This one has been in my closet for a long time.  It was a killer deal...but never came close to fitting.  It's also in the almost there category and will require a shirt underneath.

I was shocked when I tried this one on.  Just a little tight around the tummy...but not bad at all.  

And my new goal shirt!  I know...not a pretty sight!  However...I bought this one without trying it on in the store.  When I got home and tried it on I thought I was going to have to cut myself out of it!  So tight!  Definitely still tight...but there is hope!

One of my problems is that I'm starting the year off with a lot of shirts...but very few pants that fit well. So...I've got a few pair of capri-type pants that will work for a while as well as some skirts.  I've decided that I'm not going to buy any more pants until winter...unless I find a killer deal of course.  Hopefully by then I will be in a smaller size!  

Hopefully going back to work will bring life back to normal.  I need a constant schedule to succeed!  

Wish me luck!

Loves.

One of my loves is shopping...and making sure I get a good deal!  I spent a couple of days away from home this past weekend and when I came back and opened the fridge...yuck!  The spinach didn't quite make it...that's for sure!

Today I did a thorough clean and tossed a lot of things that have been untouched for months.  That's one of the struggles of living alone and recovering from food addictions...you don't realize how much food you actually have crammed in there!  At present...the fridge is pretty empty.  I hope to keep it that way overall, I think it will help me eat what I have before buying more.  I might just have to suppress the inner deal-maker!

Here is a little proof of the problem that I have...all items bought at 50-75% off...

That's right...a whole shelf and drawer dedicated to cheese!  2 stacks of chunk cheese, 1 stack of shredded cheese, 1 stack of cheese slices, 1 stack of string cheese...and those are just the unopened packages!  Before I started logging my food intake religiously I would eat cheese every time I wanted something salty.  Cheese and crackers...cheese and pretzels...cheese and an apple...cheese and...you name it!  Now that I'm logging everything, I realize what a serving actually looks like...and I'm going through a lot less of it!  Also factor in the sodium...  Now I typically eat one cheese stick a day.  So...I'm thankful that cheese lasts forever and I don't need to buy anymore in 2013.  I will probably be bringing in cheese and crackers/fruit for snacks at school to help clean it all out.  

Maybe I'll show some other shots of the fridge later...I always find it interesting to see what people typically keep stocked.  Right now for me...this is about it!  A carton of eggs...some salad dressings...and a few veggies that need me to go and clean them!

It's Thursday...

Well...I've been surviving!  There have been a few bumpy days!  The cravings I have some days just amaze me.  I know I'm not hungry, yet I eat and eat in hopes of filling whatever "something" that is missing.  I think a large part of it involves hormonal changes and monthly sorts of things...  The anxiety of going back to school in a few short weeks is starting to sink in.  There are many things to be done...and many things that I haven't done.  I wanted to be further on my journey by now...but I'm not. I need to be ok with that.

I went to the dentist today.  It was long overdue.  I honestly don't take good care of my teeth.  I hate flossing, mouth wash burns, and I go to bed every now and then without brushing.  Since I graduated from college, I haven't had dental insurance.  I tacked it on this year...but was paranoid about going.   I knew that some of my bottom lower teeth were bad and I was simply too embarrassed to go...until today.  I was still embarrassed...but went for it anyway.

Today I experienced both ends of the spectrum.  The hygienist was wonderful.  She was very caring and easy to talk to...I'm usually super awkward in these sorts of situations.  She even made a comment about my boney wrist when she took my blood pressure.  No one has EVER said any part of my body was boney!  Haha!  I enjoyed her and she made the process as easy as possible.  The receptionist was wonderful too!  Sometimes they make you feel like you're stupid, but she was great!  Answered all of my questions before I could even ask them.

The dentist on the other hand...still a great guy I'm sure...but there was less of a fuzzy feeling.  My dentist from back home was the only one I had ever been to.  He's the kind of guy that knows you and cares about your family.  He goes to your graduation parties and weddings...he's that kind of guy!  This guy was young...and rather good looking!  He made several comments that made me think..."would he be saying this to me if I wasn't 100 pounds overweight?"  He told me to make sure I wasn't drinking a lot of pop...limit my candy intake...your typical dentist response.  But then he proceeded to tell me to make sure I wasn't constantly eating...to make sure my teeth had a chance to catch up with all of the food I eat.  Ok...no problem.  But then he said it multiple times...like it wasn't sinking in. Hmmm...valid point, no doubt, but just makes me wonder a bit.

Anyway...I survived!    Lots of $ and pain in the future...but this too can be fixed!

So it's Thursday....

• I'm thankful for dental insurance.
• I'm thankful for getting to spend a couple of days with my niece this week.
• I'm thankful for my sister and her family finding a house...that's in the same town!  
• I'm thankful for a lady's retreat that I'm a part of this weekend.  (Will be somewhat stressful because I'm helping my mom run it...but we've made it this far!)
• I'm thankful for beautiful weather today!  Makes mowing the lawn not so bad...