Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Fear of Succeeding


Oh Charlie Brown…you said it buddy!  I've spent the past few days totally sabotaging myself and all of the hard work that I've put in thus far this month.  I was thinking over the goals that I set at the beginning of the month.  Here they are…

  1. Lose 4% of my body weight.
  2. Finish reading Every Body Matters by Gary Thomas. 
  3. Move more. 
As of Sunday morning…I had met my 4% loss.  The lowest weight I've seen in 5+ months registered on the scale!  260.5  Woohoo!  I had been testing myself to see if I could win a Diet Bet.  In November/December I signed up for one and lost my money!  :(  I knew that there was going to be a new challenge coming up and that I wanted to participate…but didn't want to lose any more $$.

So…I signed up for another Diet Bet.  What's another 4%!?  But guess what happened next...  I've binged each night since then.  It's crazy.  I spend all day meticulously tracking every bite that goes into my mouth.  Every gram is accounted for…but then 8:00 rolls around.  I have enough calories left to eat some popcorn…but then I want something sweet…then something salty…then sweet again.  Ugh!  

I know one of the biggest issues is that I haven't been out of the house since Friday due to more snow and frigid temperatures.  Usually I could walk it off or find something active to do…but today I didn't even have a car. Yes…I'm making excuses…but my hope and prayer is that when the weather goes away…so does this crazy urge!  

I have 3 days to get back down to my 4% loss.  I need to do this!

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