Disordered Habits

The past few Thursdays have not been grand.  Though my eating wasn't awful yesterday, I lacked motivation to do much of anything.  I think this came from spending a few days at my parent's house.

The cycle has continued there.  When I last visited, my brother was doing the Atkins diet...my mom was following weight watchers...and my dad was falling somewhere in between.  This time around everyone was off their diet and there were cookies, fruit crisps, ice cream, doughnuts, candy, chips, etc. everywhere.  I survived, but felt overwhelmed and almost isolated.  I showed my mom my Body Media and showed her how I was tracking everything.  She seemed impressed with the technology piece, but thought it would just be too much to maintain.  True, it does get annoying to track everything sometimes, but I also think it's the game changer here.  I felt frustrated/concerned/sad that they had given up on their endeavors...and almost wanted to cover up my own successes to not make them feel bad.

The not bad news (but not good news) is that I'm still at the same weight I was last time I checked in.  The reality is, it could have been a lot worse! It's tough to go into someone else's kitchen and make healthy choices when a lot of the staples in my diet at home are missing.  I think that's where they are right now too...they have healthy-ish foods...but aren't really able to bring them together to make meals that are desirable and sustainable.  

The common denominator here I think is that my whole family has a slew of disordered habits...especially eating habits.  I think they've tried for so long (though not long enough) without results that it becomes easier to give up.  I think we run to "safe" foods because we think they will help us get to our end goal...even if we don't like those "safe" foods.  When you don't like what you're eating...you're not going to get much accomplished and give up a lot easier!  My mom kept offering me weight watchers frozen dinners...  Those are safe to her...and fine if you like them...but I don't like them.  I don't want to waste calories on something that I know I'm not going to enjoy.  

Now...just talking about me specifically.  When I'm home, I weigh everything.  If the serving size says 28 grams, that is exactly how much I put on my plate.  For the most part, I don't see anything wrong with this.  I think it's ok to "train" my eye to what each serving amount actually looks like.  BUT...I have noticed that not having access to a food scale gives me some anxiety.  How do you find the balance between monitoring what you're eating and becoming a calorie/serving control freak?  I'm completely cool with a meal a day or a snack...but when I have to evaluate every bite for days...I'm lost!  

So...today has started well in the food department.  The exercise department is another story...but I will get up and move.  I have to.  

Oh...and based on the recent crapiness of Thursdays...I've now deemed them Thankful Thursdays.  I will be thinking of the good in those days from now on!  :)