I'm having a hard time moving forward. There are so many things that I want in life, but it's as if I'm afraid to leave this place of comfort. I don't know what it's like to be successful at weight loss. I don't know what it's like to weigh well under 300 pounds. There are so many feelings of uncertainty...and the moment I have a little bit of success...I make sure it doesn't happen again. Constantly going back before I can move forward.
There has been so much freedom in my life in the past few months...freedom from things that have held me captive for so many years. Today I found myself turning to those things again...just because I can...and because I'm bored.
I gave up Facebook for lent. I think this has been one of the hardest things I've done in a long time. I've become so focused on other people's lives...their successes...struggles...failures... I see so many people getting engaged...married...having kids. And then there is me. I've got nothing. It's like Facebook has become my idol. I know I spend far more time viewing the lives of others than I do anything else...especially spending time with God. I've been fairly successful with staying away from fb...but haven't made such great strides with spending time with God. Maybe that will change tomorrow...
Enough for now...I anticipate that I'll be back sooner next time...have a little extra time on my hands now-a-days!
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