Reset, Restart, Renew

I've taken two weeks off and it's gotten me no where that I want to be. 

The first week was spring break.  I spent the week at my parents' house.  Almost everything they do revolves around food.  The first day was a full day of cooking, eating, and spending time with family.  We spent a day shopping in Amish country jumping from store to store...candy store...grocery store...cheese store...bakery...cheese store...  Are you picking up on all of this? 

Early in my break I cleared off the counter in the kitchen.  There were chips, crackers, cookies, candy, more chips, dried fruit, chocolate, more crackers, rice krispie treats, etc. on the counter all day long.  I wonder why my whole family is so overweight...?  The clean counter really helped for a few days... 

Then the stress and drama of my grandparents started to set in. I have always been self conscious of my weight, especially around my grandparents.  I have never felt like I've been good enough for them.  They both are skinny...and my grandma is always making comments about her weight...I can't imagine the things she says about me.  Generally she doesn't say anything to me...but I know her thoughts aren't always positive.  For as long as I can remember I've privately binged while my grandparents are around.  I wait until they go downstairs, go for a walk, or leave the room before I grab a snack. I did this over spring break.  It wasn't way out of control, but it didn't help any progress.

This past week has been filled with eating...Easter, leftovers, birthday celebrations, dinner with friends.  I've over indulged all week and I feel like crap for it.  Today I did nothing but eat, sleep, and watch tv.  Today is my "last day".

Tomorrow I'm starting again.  I'm starting with a facebook fast.  Healthy eating.  Exercise.  I've got to meet that goal of 275.  I know that I won't meet that by the end of the month...but I need to get a whole lot closer than I am.  I plan on updating this more frequently with progress.

Restart.